God tells husbands to love their wives and then tells wives to respect their husbands. Why do you think God gave different commands to husbands and wives?
It is important that we talk to each other about our relationship. But doing this is not always easy. Men and women tend to communicate differently, and this often leads to miscommunication and hurt feelings. Sometimes we communicate our feelings in very negative language, causing our spouse to become defensive. The issue we mention may not even be the real issue. We even attack each other and assign motives. Try this exercise:
Ladies, think of something your husband did that made you feel unloved. Share it with him this way..."I know you love me - but when you did (name what he did) - it made me feel...I don't think you intended it that way, but this is how it made me feel."
Men, think of something your wife did that made you feel disrespected or like you could seldom do anything right in her eyes. Share it with her this way..."I know you love me - but when you did (name what she did) - it made me feel...I don't think you meant for me to feel rejected...but this is how it came across to me."
God created women to need love and affection. He also created men to need respect and admiration. Yet often we don't know how to express love or respect in the way our spouse needs it. We may think we are expressing love or respect, but our spouse doesn't see it of feel it. Talk about the following questions so you can better understand how to show love and respect to each other.
- Husbands, how do you currently try to show your wife you love her?
- Wives, how do you currently try to show your husband you respect him?
- Husbands, what can you do to show your wife more love? Ask for her suggestions.
- Wives, what can you do to show your husband more respect? Ask him for suggestions.
Men - share with your wife some of the reasons you love her and what you think makes her a very special person.
Wives - share with your husband some of the reasons you respect him and what you really appreciate about the person he is and the things he does.