On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being very high and 1 being very low) each of you score the level of romantic love in your marriage (as you perceive it.)
1___2___3___4___5___6___7___8___9___10
Reflection:
How do you feel about your scores? Why?
What habits/routines do you have individually and as a couple that keeps the romantic love healthy in your marriage? Write them down.
What habits/routines do you have individually and as a couple that hinders romantic love in your marriage? Write them down and discuss them.
Your Most Important Emotional Need:
Willard Harley ("His Needs Her Needs" and "Fall In Love Stay In Love") identifies the ten emotional needs that are common to most couples. Five of them are more important to the typical man and five different ones are more important to the typical woman. While the list is not absolute and men/women may feel a need from the opposite list, the groupings hold true for most men/women. Here is the list:
His Needs:
Sexual Fulfillment
Recreational Companionship
Physical Attractiveness (in his wife)
Admiration
Domestic Support
Her Needs:
Affection
Conversation
Honesty & Support
Financial Support
Family Commitment
When these needs are regularly met by our spouse, romantic love remains strong. When they are ignored, romantic love dissipates.
Discussion Questions:
- What are your top three emotional needs?
- Do you know what your spouse's top three needs are?
- What are you doing to intentionally minister to the top three emotional needs of your spouse?
- Are you ministering to you spouse's needs in a way that makes them feel happy or in ways that make you feel happy? Let your spouse share with you how you can make them happy.
What specific actions can each of you take to allow romantic love to flourish in your marriage? What specific actions can you take as a couple? Will you?
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